| 【テキスト1】母がゴールデンウィークは何日か温泉で過ごそうと言い出した。 |
あなたの 作 文 | My mother proposed that we shall enjoy spa for several days in Golden Week, a long Japanese vacation form late April to early May. |
| 指摘箇所 | My mother (A) proposed that we (B_) shall enjoy (_B) (C) spa for (D) several days (E) in Golden Week (F_), a long Japanese vacation form late April to early May.(_F) |
| 添削結果 | My mother suggested that we enjoy a few days at a spa over Golden Week. |
解 説
[質問する] | (A) Expression. `proposed` is a little stiff/formal here. More appropriate for a Director's meeting, (not a chat with mum). :)
(B) Grammar. `shall` is not needed here. Future notion is expressed by `suggested that we`.
You could also say...``suggested that we **spend** a few days.... >> Nice and simple.
(C) Grammar. You need a preposition `at` here to correctly express `place`.
(D) Expression. `several` to me is `quite a few` (4 or 5??). The original text talks about `a few` (2 or 3?).
(E) Grammar. `in` is not quite right here. `over` or `during` work well.
(F) Wordy. Thanks for the explanation Takeo but not really needed. :)
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| 評 価 | LV4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。 |
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| 【テキスト2】もし車で行くなら、父はたぶん私に運転をさせてくれるだろう。 |
あなたの 作 文 | If we will go there by car, my father will probably let me drive a car.
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| 指摘箇所 | If we (G) will go there by car, my father will (H) probably let me drive (I) a car (I).
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| 添削結果 | If we go there by car, my father may let me drive. |
解 説
[質問する] | (G) Grammar. Conditional (if) does not need `will` twice to express the future tense. Once is enough
eg. **If** Japan wins the World Cup China **will** be upset!
eg. **If** Takeo comes to the party I **will** have to buy more beer!
(H) Nuance. The original is not so definite. `may/maybe` is more unsure than `probably`.
(I) Logic. The verb `drive` implies a car. So `car` is not needed. Think of what else would be driven if not a car...
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| 評 価 | LV4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。 |
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| 【テキスト3】日が迫っているにもかかわらず、母が何とか予約をとった。 |
あなたの 作 文 | Although we had little time, my mother managed to reserve it.
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| 指摘箇所 | (J_) Although we had little time(_J), my mother managed to (K) reserve it.
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| 添削結果 | Even at this late date, mother managed to secure a reservation.
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解 説
[質問する] |
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| 評 価 | LV4 ほとんどネイティブの書いた英文と同じレベルに達しています。 |
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